You can't sing, you can't dance but you love the music industry. What to do? Become a sound engineer - the backroom boys and girls who make the best sound better and the worst sound like Ronan Keating.
A sound engineer is responsible for making a band or a performer sound as good as possible. This can apply working on a recorded album in studio or to enhancing Money Talkz' first gig at the parish hall. You will work behind the desk, which is an electronic board with a vast array of sliders, knobs and buttons that control the behaviour of each piece of equipment. At the start, the board will look like a giant game of Battleship, but you will soon get to know each part of it and be able to program it yourself.
Some of the toys a sound engineer gets to play with are microphones, speakers, amps, yards of cable and the groupies who want to 'get to know' the band better. There are several basic skills that you will need to learn to connect up all the equipment without turning the stage into a Spinal Tap gig. Once the stage or studio has been set up, then your musical ear comes in to play. You will have to listen to the band and know which piece of equipment needs to be fiddled to produce the best sound. Everything sounds different in front of the speakers. The band might think that they are playing the gig of their life but you will know that the audience are doing kamikaze shots of Aftershock to deaden their eardrums. It is the soundperson's job to adjust the controls but also to tell the individual members of the band what they are doing wrong. Tread softly, for you tread on their egos.
To become a master sound engineer, you will need to learn some skills in recording, mixing and editing. If Money Talkz is ever going to make it, they are going to need a demo tape. To produce one, you will need to know about studio and production techniques and to understand the theory of sound. You should also know how to record vocals and specific instruments separately and how to use effects to enhance your recording.
A good sound engineer needs dedication, patience and a small ponytail nestling on the back of a mostly bald head. Your career will likely begin in dark halls and basements, but if you have what it takes you will get more and better jobs. The opportunities for career progression and movement are considerable, as are the financial rewards - most record producers start out as sound engineers.
Most people will tell you that there is no such thing as a typical day in their job, but it is really true of sound engineers. Hours are varied, the uniform is casual and you could wake up on Eddie Van Halen's floor. You might not have a pension plan, but then again, you will never grow old.
