Paret-time Soccer course

Paret-time Soccer course

Irish soccer fans have been through a lot. We were collectively over the moon when we got into the 1990 World Cup quarterfinals and sick as parrots when we didn't even get a chance to attend the 1998 event. We live vicariously through our boys on British teams, as the professional situation in Ireland is somewhat subdued.

Irish League players are unencumbered by heavy pay packets - indeed, any pay packets - and it is the rare schoolgirl who has a poster of Kelvin Flanagan of Cork City on her bedroom wall. Happily, this means that the league in Ireland is wide open for emerging talent. So if you want to get on the team bus, brush up on your ball control with a course in soccer.

History
The world's most popular team sport has a long and head-cracking history. Forms of soccer took place in China and Japan up to 3,000 years ago and the Romans brought a version called Haspartum to British shores around 200 AD. By the 12th century, soccer had really taken hold, and games of 500-a-side used to take place through the streets and houses of cities. Attempts were made to ban the game, possibly because of damage to Dresden shepherdess ornaments, but these were unsuccessful. Soccer grew in popularity and in 1863, the Football Association drew up a common set of rules to prevent cheating and excess bloodshed.

The British had successfully managed to hide the game from Ireland for almost 2,000 years, until an Irishman chanced upon their shores on his honeymoon in 1878. Much to the chagrin of his wife, he spent a great deal of energy arranging to bring the game to Ireland and not enough time hand-holding and feeding her sweetmeats. After returning home and grovelling to his beloved, John McAlery founded the Irish Football Association in 1881.

The Game
A game of soccer will give you a good workout and build up your fitness levels. Players often run as much as 6 miles a match and all that kicking and sprinting produces lovely legs. Even if you have only ever watched your son's school from the sidelines - "Come on, Our Lady of the Blessed Sacrament, get stuck in!" - you can learn some of the basic skills for yourself.

The most important skills to have are the basis of the game - passing, tackling and controlling the ball. It helps if you have some natural co-ordination but even this can be taught. After you have mastered the fundamentals, you can move on to fancy turns, dribbling and goal-scoring.

Not just a man's game!
Men aren't the only ones who can enjoy a bit of a kick-about. Women's football is popular on a grassroots level, but the resources aren't there to take it to a higher plane. However, if you feel like finding out if you are championship material, a course in football will tell you all you need. You could find yourself organising a weekly game in the local park or discovering that you're so talented that you immigrate to a country that appreciates you.

Rules in football are fairly straightforward but the offside rule has caused many a pub beer mat to be ripped up in vain. You will need to grasp it if you don't want your game to descend into violent recriminations. Let's assume that you are on the team that is attacking the opponent's goal. If a member of your team passes the ball to you, there must be at least two opposition players in front of you when it leaves his control. The goalie is usually one of these players but not always. There are some exceptions to this, such as in the case of throw-ins and corner kicks, but nothing that you should worry unduly about. Any problem will be explained to you in high decibels by practically everyone within a 5-mile radius of the grounds.

Football has come a long way since the bouffant mullet of Frank Le Boeuf. David Beckham's mohican warrants more column inches than his ball skills and his salary would feed the starving Man City fans for more than a year. If you want a piece of the action, consider leaving the couch behind and going to training. Remember, with football, you'll never walk alone. At least two people will be needed to help you limp off the pitch.

Check out the links below for information on football classes and teams in your area. If you can't make it to practice, we have explored the world of soccer wisdom on your behalf and included some choice quotes from footballing legends.

Quotes from Players
"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." - Stuart Pearce

Interviewer: "Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?"
David Beckham: "Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side."

"It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked." - Richard Rufus

"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match." - Ian Wright

Quotes from Commentators

"Martin O'Neill, standing, hands on hips, stroking his chin." - Mike Ingham

"The ageless Dennis Wise, now in his thirties." - Martin Tyler