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All Fall Down
Since the dawn of time, man has been attempting to fix up his house himself. His long-suffering partner begs him to get in a qualified builder/plasterer/glazier but he is nevertheless convinced that he can do it on his own. "I think I'll just shift the house a couple of inches to the left, dear! What do you think?" This is, of course, a rhetorical question.
So what better way to placate your spouse than to do an evening course in construction or bricklaying, if only to rebuild that which you have torn asunder. If you are the type that is easily insulted by any suggestion that your skills might not be those of a master builder, then what better way to silence the rabble than to have a qualification backing up your talents?
A course in basic construction will teach you how to lay blocks for a patio, construct walls and maintain walls, cut brick, mix cement and, of course, build that all-important barbeque for our sweltering summer months. It doesn't matter that you'll only use it once a year, that it won't light, that your kids will go inside and make themselves microchips, "That's not barbequed, Daddy, that's burnt!"
What matters is that you made it yourself, with your own two hands. To ensure that you keep the pair, you will also be taught basic safety procedures. There are also a number of DIY courses out there that can help you to beautify the inside of your home, as opposed to building walls around it. These courses can teach you things like wall and floor tiling, building maintenance, basic plumbing and carpentry.
Perhaps you'll like construction so much that you'll consider going into it as a career. There are plenty of more intensive construction courses available during the evening and the daytime. FÁS runs apprenticeship programmes where you can learn the trade with established craftspeople and take exams as you go through the scheme. If you do consider bricklaying as a job, then you should be patient and able to work in a team. You should also have a good eye, as for some reason everyone on a construction site is obsessed with getting the walls straight. Go figure.
The advantage of doing a construction evening course is that you will pick up a volley of technical terms that you will be able to throw at any 'professional' that manages to get through your door. You be able to demonstrate to them that they are patently not needed with your informed use of such buzzwords as "joists" "cavity wall" "bed joints" and "perpends". But don't worry. Most of these short courses don't dwell on the theoretical side of things. You get out there with the cement or the plaster and learn which end is the "arse" of the brick.
Classes dealing with construction and DIY are by necessity small, so you should get plenty of one-to-one attention. You could say that you won't be just another brick in the wall. So if you want a course that will not only get you out of the house but also help you build it up, then you should consider a course in this area...
- Construction
- Construction and Engineering
- Engineering
- Interior Design
- Monopoly for Grown-ups
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