In the beforetime, etiquette was very important. People might have been crawling with lice, but by God, they had certain standards. In the 1800's, even going to a hooley was fraught with complications. An etiquette book of the time gives advice to young men on the pull.

"If you are a stranger at a ball, you apply to the managers for a partner and are presented to a lady, with whom you dance. This does not entitle you to claim her acquaintance afterwards, and you should not even recognize her again unless she makes the first advances with a bow or smile."

So a quick snog in the shrubbery is completely out then. Ladies didn't get off too lightly either. Proper wifely duties were laid out in the Farmers' Almanac of 1862.

"Make up your beds early in the morning; sew buttons on your husband's shirts; do not rake up any grievances; protect the young and tender branches of your family; plant a smile of good temper on your face, and root out all angry feelings; and expect a good crop of happiness."

Today, manners and social behaviour have become more relaxed and more emphasis is put on kindness and common sense. However, formal occasions still have rules attached to them. Modern etiquette includes learning what fork to use at a posh dinner, when to send thank you letters, how to address invitations and some polite putdowns to use to avoid confrontations. An etiquette course will take you through a social whirl of everything from introductions to in-depth conversation.

Much of what you learn is just common sense. However, many of the skills taught have gone in to disuse in this modern society of ours and after a refresher course, people will marvel at your politeness and you will be known universally as "that lovely lady / gentleman".

Shaking hands with people in a mannerly way is fraught with surprising difficulty. You should stand up when meeting people - a quick wave while slouched over a pint is not going to cut it. You should also look alert and take a good stab at remembering their name. When going for the shake, you should extend your hand in an open, vertical position and tilt your fingers down, leaving your thumb upraised. You then go in for the kill, with a firm but not crushing grip. The experience should last 2-3 seconds - you are not aiming for a job on Banzai, the programme that prides itself on pressing the flesh of unsuspecting celebrities for as long the victims can stand it.

Netiquette is new addition to the world of manners, dealing with how you should conduct yourself in the often impolite society of the Internet. There are many websites and booklets that can teach you about the inherent rudeness of spamming, flaming, misrepresenting yourself and butting in on online conversations.

Modern manners aren't all about how to stick out your little finger when drinking tea. If you feel that the your contemporaries have all the charm of Howard Stern, then check out the links below to get some loveliness back into your life.